(Cue music and the soulful balladeer that is Mr Lionel Richie) "Easy.......easy like Sunday morning......" - ahh Sunday morning bliss, tea and toast in bed, a leisurely read of the Sunday papers, a gentle breeze carrying the faintest hint of Spring on its wings as it wafts through an open window - this is the life........Ok Lionel, you can take your lovely ballads and play them in someone else's fantasy land - Critchlow family Sunday mornings look a little bit more like......
Now, with a wife and two adult daughters at home you can imagine getting in the bathroom in a morning is far from "easy". Add to the equation that at the moment Laura's fiancé, Mac, is living with us and so it's a real bun fight for access to the shower. In fact, I'm seriously considering installing a ticket machine like they have at the deli counter in Morrisons! So what's the rush? here's time on a Sunday for us all right? Wrong! Church starts at 10.30am but there's nearly always one of us singing in the band so that means leaving home by 9.15am. This means that I usually manage to gain access to the bathroom at about 9.07am after everyone else and Lionel Richie is not playing in my head!
This morning I arrived downstairs to find Emily stood up at the kitchen counter stuffing her face with Chocolate Weetos (other breakfast cereals are available) because she knew she'd taken so long getting ready that she'd miss breakfast altogether unless she took the initiative (amazing how resourceful our young ones can be when they need to be!) We got into the car and began driving the 3 miles or so to church. At this point I should mention that everyone in the house (apart from me) has been, or still is, suffering from a horrible cough, cold virus which has kept most of us awake every night for the past week.
Well, half way into our journey Emily began to cough. It was the cough that all parents recognise, the cough that makes the all-too-accurate prediction that fairly shortly breakfast will be served (and not in a good way). You know where this is going don't you!
I was unable to stop the car as we were on a winding country lane with no safe place to stop. Meanwhile the remains of what were once Chocolate Weetos were being spewed down on to Emily's seat, the floor, in the door pocket, etc, etc (I apologise if you're eating whilst reading this, I'm trying so hard to paint a picture without being too graphic but stick with me it is leading somewhere).
I dropped 3 off at church and immediately pulled out of the car park to take Emily home. At this point she began to cry because she loves church and did not want to miss guest speaker Pastor Brian. I promised if she seemed ok when we got home we'd come back after getting cleaned up. Emily cheered up immediately. I set about cleaning Emily, the car and then myself - in that order - and then, as we prepared to leave this house for a second time, Emily made an announcement as though she were the voiceover introducing the next programme on tv or directing a film:
"Emily - she's not sick - take 2" at which point she motioned her hands and arms as though collapsing a clapperboard, before announcing "Ok - rewind - aaaaaaannndd......roll the titles!"